• From fortune telling chickens to Obama
being the bringer of all desctruction, We look at 9 Dumbest End Of The World Prophecies
Ever 10 – Y2K,
• In a decade where computers were beginning to become essential to everyday life, its
no surprise that the millennium bug would drive some people into hysterical panic.
• For those who didn’t live through madness of Y2K, the whole fever was caused because
computer’s calendars wouldn’t recognise the new century. This would through the machines
into an epic malfunction, banks would crash, nuclear reactors would meltdown and your child’s
head would explode. • While the Y2K bug was an actual issue,
the panic and predictions of Stone Age anarchy were just a tiny bit exaggerated. A lot of
people worked hard at fixing the bug so that you could access your GeoCities on New Year’s
Day. 9 – Charlie Manson’s Race War,
• I’m not going to tell you how to live your life but you probably shouldn’t take
end of the world predictions from a hippie psychopath too seriously.
• Everyone knows Charles Manson lead his flock to do horrible things but part of his
pitch to get them to do this was the upcoming race war. Manson predicted that African Americans
would rise up and kill the white man for slavery revenge or something
• As the United States became a bloodbath, Manson and his followers would ride out the
storm in a lost city of gold in Death Valley. Yeah…something seems really stupid about
all this. 8 – Pat Robertson’s Obama-pocolypse,
• With Obama now at the end of his presidential career and the current crop of election hopefuls,
it’s hard to understand the apocalyptic visions surrounding his election.
• Aside from the crazy “Obama is da Anti-Christ” in 2008, in 2012 media mogul and Baptist minister
Pat Robertson also predicted an Obama-pocolypse. Believing that God had told him that an Obama’s
re-election would lead to an US economic collapse, dooming the rest of the world.
• How? Why? Well who the hell knows just know Obama is bad because God told me so.
But hey there is still time for Obama to cause the end of the world before President Trump
does. 6 – The Jupiter Effect,
• Y’know when someone posts on onion article on Facebook, ranting seriously about something
that’s obviously untrue? Well this is the apocalyptic version of that.
• Two astrophysics put forward that the world would end on March 10, 1982 when all
9 planets aligned. Proposing that the alignment would cause a gravitational pull, that would
create wonderful things like solar flares and earthquakes.
• But it was actually written as a hypothetical, not based on any real factual evidence. Much
like people in the present, people in the 70’s also couldn’t fact check for shit
and believed the theory. 5 – Harold Camping’s Billboards of Doom,
• Here’s one you probably remember….only because it was plastered over almost every
billboard in the world. • Harold Camping’s rapture prophecy was
declared on thousands of billboards around the world, alerting us heathens that May 21,
2011 would be judgement day. But the world didn’t end so Camping said he’d made mistake
and that the world would actually end in October. When that date came and went, Camping retired
from making any more public prophecies which was probably for the best.
• Millions of dollars were wasted on the billboards not to mention all the tales of
congregation members selling their cars and houses to help pay for them…
4 – Jehovah’s Witness predictions, • Camping’s multiple mistaken predictions
hold no candle to the tally of rapture date predictions from the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
• It’s amazing how a group founded on its predictions could keep growing after getting
it wrong every single time. Going back to saying the world would end in 1877…then
again in 1914, 1915, 1918….you get the picture. • But of course this history of inaccuracy
hasn’t stopped the church from telling people that it definitely 100% will be happening
at some point. Ironically the watchtower society criticised Camping for getting his dates wrong…good
job guys, call out the guy who got it wrong twice but ignore the million time you have.
3 – The Black Rainbow, • Any prophecy coming from a television
psychic should be treated with a hint scepticism, even Ed Wood’s go-to fortune teller.
• Popularist psychic Criswell made many ludicrous predictions about the future including
leprosy crippling the world and the hot trend of genital decoration taking the world by
storm. So when he says the world will be enveloped by an evil black rainbow that would suck away
our oxygen. • Yeah if you bought a future where people
are walking around with glitter paint on their dicks then you were probably dumb enough to
fear the black rainbow….but it was supposed to appear in 1999 so I think we are probably
safe….probably. 2 – The Doomsday Egg,
• But maybe its people that are just terrible at predicting the end of days, maybe animals
are the true prophets? How about a chicken? • In 1806 in Leeds a woman claimed one of
her chickens was laying eggs with the words “Christ is coming” on the shell. The holy
eggs caused more than a few people in the village to lose their minds with fear. Visitors
came from all over, bearing witness to the eggs emerging from the chicken.
• But eventually the owner was caught shoving the eggs that had been written on with corrosive
ink into the chicken. Shockingly the whole thing was a hoax…probably to sell more eggs.
1 – Mayan Calendar, • Believing that the end of the world is
going to come based on ancient calendar because I don’t know ancient reasons.
• People love a good mystery and the whole disappearance of the Mayan people had many
enthralled. This mystery caused some to take anything in the culture as mystical. So when
those people found out the Mayan’s had a calendar that predicted the end of the world,
it freaked them out. • Even though the calendar never even predicted
such a thing, it made no predictions at all because y’know calendars just tell you the
date. Well at least we got a disaster porn movie out of it.